Transformers: Rise of the Fallen
Saturday, July 4, 2009


I broke down and saw it, but only because I was so bored.

Please don't ask me what Transformers: Rise of the Fallen was about. I just watch these things for the pure joy of watching objects get blown up, destroyed, and suspending my disbelief over sheer stupidity for nearly three hours.

A blank mind can accomplish a lot of things.

I read the hoopla over purported racism and sexism embedded deeply into this film. Not so. I don't know who, or what, Mudflaps and Skids are supposed to represent, but as a thinking person of African descent - I ain't claiming them.

See, for me, it is racism if I decided that these robotic, computer generated images actually represent black males. The thing is, I've never come across a black male that has sounded like, or acted like, Mudflaps and Skids. Can't be angry with something I don't identify with, or recognize.

I'm reminded of some Disney films where black crows, hyenas, and other strange animals are racist images, because the cartoons were supposed to represent black people.

Oh, hell no.

Sure, it may be intentionally offensive, but that doesn't mean one has to claim the negative images. I say, let it belong to those who create it. Looking at those images now, wouldn't one notice that there aren't any people who actually speak in that fashion? Lingo and behavior changes. Today's misdirected insult, becomes yesterday's wacky, distasteful, and stupid piece of work.

I'm not saying that there are scenes in the movie a person couldn't be reasonably be upset with. But to get mad at computer generated image of robots / cars that don't resemble people? No.

I did feel bad for John Turturro. Not sure why his hair, or his character, which I liked by the way, had to be denigrated. But then again, men sometimes speak roughly to one another. I guess one of the themes of the film was to celebrate male, juvenile, silliness: "Boys will be boys, and say nasty things to one another!"

I liked the latest Decepticon: an amalgamation of several construction heavy-duty trucks. Cute.

Megan Fox looked greasy-faced at times. Shia LaBeouf looked very, very, stressed, I don't think it was acting either.

The movie, like any film by Michael Bay was very pro-military, and about getting the big guns out (pun intended). I have no problem with that. Although, I was surprised to hear President Obama's name mentioned; it was a very strange inclusion.

Otherwise, most of the dialogue was stupid. This film could be watched on mute. It'd probably make more sense that way.

I think that's about it. The film was funny in some places. There was enough action, and momentum to make the 2.5 hours seem reasonable (it was not).

All in all, one of the loudest films I've seen this year. Although I think it ties with Terminator: Salvation Junkyard for noisiest.

Josh Duhamel looked hot in this film. I guess that's what happens when there's only one really good looking guy in the whole movie.

Labels: Disney, Josh Duhamel, Terminator: Salvation, Transformers, Transformers: Rise of the Fallen

posted by GoldenAh
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Terminator: Salvation Junkyard
Thursday, June 4, 2009


The original Terminator film frightened me. It was scary. It gave me goosebumps, all because it was a low-key horror movie.

The sequels do not frighten, because they never pause to take a breath. The films rush through everything. There's nary a moment allowing the characters to contemplate how numbing, and terrifying, it would be to have an unstoppable, calculating and scheming killing machine pursuing them.

These follow-up movies are mildly engaging, generically amusing, and kinda boring overall. It's all about explosions, gun fire, devastating and earth shattering wreckage, and blowing up buildings.

Yawn. I think they should leave a lot of these pyrotechnics for the video games. Yeah, people pay for the bombs. I get it.

All of the producers of the franchise films seem unaware of what made the first film so riveting (although it was not an absolute commercial success).

Here's a clue: Arnold Schwarzenegger's character was an unrelenting, unemotional, and unsentimental robot. He had only one task to perform.

That movie was as chilling and creepy as watching Psycho.

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I couldn't resist throwing the word 'junkyard' in the post heading. The desolate themes throughout the movie, reminded me of Road Warrior (I must rent that, haven't seen that crazy classic in a long time!), and Resident Evil: Extinction. The robots, especially the giant one that harvested humans reminded me of War of the Worlds and Star Wars: The Rotten Prequels.

Plot pivots: was it a Superman or Jesus Christ thingy going on? Oh, right. It was a hint at our possible immortality. So, that made Marcus Wright (I'm sure there's a meaning in that name, but I'm a bit dull right now in sorting it out) akin to a demi-god for this flick.

Marcus could have chosen to be immortal, as a cyborg, but what made him human was his heart.

It's scary how fast the future (prosthetic body parts, rapidly healing, etc., etc.) is coming at us.

Did I mention that Sam Worthington, who plays Marcus Wright is hawt? Like really smoking hot? This picture does his handsome mug no justice. Delicious. Slurp.

Interesting how the best looking actors are coming out of New Zealand and Australia these days. Must be something in the air, food or water.

I must visit soon!

Oh right, about the movie. I had to run out a few times, but the first hour is all about Marcus (Sam), so that's the best thing I can say about the flick. Christian Bale (John Connor) barks throughout the film. He's too damn stoic. The cuties in this film were: Jadagrace and Anton Yelchin (lucky kid, he was in Star Trek too).

Boy, is McG a lazy director or what? Did he not notice these guys slipping back into their regional accents on occasion? I wont mention the enormous amount of inconsistencies in the film sequences. For example: in one scene Connor's shoe has been tossed far and wide, yet in the very next one, it's on again.

Worth seeing again? When it's on DVD, sure, but a repeat at the theater? Nope.

However, the special effects were awesome. The CGI was so realistic that I couldn't tell what was fake, and usually I could tell.

Overall, not bad, but not great either.

Labels: Anton Yelchin, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christian Bale, Jadagrace, Sam Worthington, Star Wars, Terminator, Terminator: Salvation

posted by GoldenAh
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